March 12, 2013

Everything is a damn production.

I know, I know.

Whining isn't cute. 

But it's all I really can muster up the strength for lately. (dramatic much?) I can say two things for sure about the past couple days:

1. The day that I can get these children in and out of a vehicle without it feeling like climbing Mt. Everest with the World's Heaviest Carseat will be a cause for immense celebration. Getting from the back door to the vehicle in the garage goes a little something like this:

Remy. Remy, stop taking off your coat. Okay, now let's balance an eleven pound diaper bag with the World's Heaviest Carseat containing the World's Chubbiest Baby and while trying to shimmy a very impatient two year old into his coat. Now, Remy..can you open the door for Mommy? Good boy! No, no, no! Don't run into the back alley! No, you may not step in that snow drift. Remy Allen Helm, get in the garage. No, but don't touch the weedeater! REMY! Haphazardly sets down World's Heaviest Car Seat to catch the World's Naughtiest Two Year Old and finally, mercifully..strap him in his car seat. Oh and let's not forget to get the baby in the car.

Every single time we leave the house. Forty-seven times a day. 

2. I solemnly swear that even after my children are grown, I will not turn into one of the 'sneering ladies.'

Oh, you've seen them. Especially if you have a toddler. And especially, especially if you have a noisy toddler who doesn't care to listen to its mother. Deep in throws in another public tantrum, there will inevitably be the one lady (who am I kidding? Usually multiple people..) who gives you the World's Most Obvious Stinkeye. Because yes, I totally enjoy scraping my two year old off the floor in public and I make sure that he does this just to annoy you, lady. 

See also, the lady who sits two pews in front of us in church who refuses to acknowledge my 'sign of peace' whenever my kids make any kind of audible noise. 


That's all folks. 


  1. I LOVE THIS! this makes me feel like my "mommy problems" are so small!

  2. oh man. i know all about the sneering ladies. i refuse to be one when i get older too!

  3. I completely agree on #2. There are way too many people in this world who have way too many opinions that they think matters. What matters is that you are doing your best and that children are precious. The end.

    I'm hoping to just annoyingly smile at them next time I see it aimed at us :)

  4. Those sneering people make me feel angry and frustrated. As if they've never seen a toddler before... I promis to never become that old lady.



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