February 28, 2012

The comments. They sting.

"My oldest is eight. My daughter is five. Remy here is 14 months and our newest addition is due in August," I replied during the course of a conversation I had earlier today.

The older woman raised her eyebrow. "Whoa. Good luck with that. I hope you're done." Her voice practically dripping with condemnation.

Back about five years ago, I was decidedly in the camp of Two and Done. And in fact, I owe an apology to mothers of larger families. I just didn't get it at that time. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to burden themselves with the costs and responsibilities of raising a brood of children. I'm ashamed to say that after I had Olivia, I frequently told people, "Well, when I'm 40, the kids will be 21 and 18. And I'll still be young enough to have a real life!" 

As if raising my babies didn't count as really living. (Shakes my dang head.)

And now, since acknowledging baby IV's existence, I'm on the receiving end of the very comments I used to hurl towards "those weirdos with all the kids."

Most of the time, I just smile, nod and try to move along. But I am human. And those comments and general displeasure that people show towards my expanding waistline? It stings.

True story.

21 comments:

  1. "I hope you're done"??????

    Why? Because a table full of loving, happy faces at Thanksgiving for the rest of her life is the worst a woman can imagine for her future? Because people so often say "man, sure wish I hadn't had that last kid"? Because watching Jersey Shore in peace is some kind of Great Good in the world?

    Ugh!

    Hope you're not sad you followed my blog what with all my lunatic comments already, but that kind of stuff (in case you can't tell) gets my stuff in a huff. Fer realz.

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    1. Favorite comment of the day achievement unlocked, Dwija!

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  2. No matter what people say you are an amazing mother!!

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  3. while i honestly think we are done with our two children, who is to say i won't change my mind tomorrow? families come in all shapes and sizes. no one is right or wrong. and bystanders should keep the criticism to themselves.

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  4. I recently told an old college buddy that we are planning to try for baby #3 later on this year and she gave me a lecture about population control. It was just too much. I don't know how people can't see the beauty in family and celebrate it. Babies are a blessing, family is everything. Embrace is girlfriend, you are so blessed!!

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    1. LOL! She lectured you on population control?!! I can't wait to follow your journey to #3! As beautiful as Belle and Brees are, I can only imagine how wonderful he/she will be!

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  5. Wow, I am shocked that someone out there actually had the nerve and insensitivity to actually say such a thing. Unheard of. Wear that belly proud, girlfriend! We were born to do this thing!

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  6. Jess,

    I've been following your blogs for a few years now. Through triumph and strife, I've always seen you come out on top. But only the top that YOU'VE made for yourself and your family through hard work, devotion, patience, sarcastic humor, love, and, of course, beer. You inspire the rest of us. You are a GREAT mother. Oysters, in order to make a pearl, need an irritant. With problems along the way, little irritants all over the place, you then get to make all these pearls, gracing the world with you and yours beauty. Know that the world is better off with your little growing family.

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    1. Beautiful words to start my morning! Thank you, Shayna. :)

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  7. she's probably just jealous because she doesn't have as many cute kids as you do. some people just have some serious nerve to speak their mind about things that they should consider keeping to themselves.

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  8. People are morons! And when you're pregnant, the moron brigade marches by endlessly until you deliver....at least that's been my experience. It's so hard to have a thick skin about these things, especially when your emotions and hormones are all over the place. Bottom line: Your family, your kids are no one's business. There is obviously something lacking in their lives if they think there's something wrong with adding another sweet baby to this world. MORONS. <3

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  9. Why are moms so judgemental of other moms? I just don't get it! We all have a tough job, the least we can do is not tear each other down! And you have FOUR children, not FORTY. It's odd how people can feel so threatened by something different that their own way of life. Just because she can't rock four kids, doesn't mean you can't!

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  10. Oh I so know what you mean! I am a mom of one, I cannot imagine being a mom of 4. I no doubt give moms with a brood stares, mainly in amazement that she {the mom} had it together enough to leave the house with everyone in tow. For me, that's envy. I don't know if I could ever have it together enough for four. So you keep doing what you do, haters will hate. But at least you'll know the love of your family!

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  11. Older people... ugh! As I say this comment, though, I realize that when I'm older, I will think back on it, and be like - Ah, Bri, you were so young and foolish. Just say whatever the hell is on your mind, because you never could when you were younger, haha. Which is exactly what they do. Dangit! But, at least you could blame it on the hormones, if you did just burst out in angry words! :)

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  12. That would sting. I would be so mad! They are your babies! I'm the oldest of five and I never remember anyone saying anything like that to our family. I love love love coming from a big family!!! My siblings and I have only gotten closer as we have gotten older and I wouldn't have it any other way :)

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  13. People are so judgmental. I have #2 on the way and hope for a few more. Why can't people just but out? Applause for you and your lovely growing family.

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  14. I can't believe someone would actually say something like that to someone. I would absolutely love to have a big family, I want at least four. I don 't have any yet so I may change my mind when I see first hand how hard it is lol, but if I did choose to have four it would be mine and my husbands decision and I wouldn't appreciate anyone sticking their noses into my business!

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